My last post started me thinking about sex and love and lust and romance and all the things in between. Even though I’ve said for a long time I would never want to marry again after what I’ve experienced, I still yearn for the idea of romantic love.

But now that I’ve discovered this ‘subbish’ side of myself, I’ve started to wonder if this is even possible in a Dom/sub relationship?  I’m not sure how romance could work in a situation like that?

It’s been hard enough to find someone who understands my kinks, but to also expect them to realize that underneath that there is still a need for softness?  For seduction?

I wonder if this is just something that is going to be out of reach?



  1. Dave Said:

    I am writing this as one who has never experienced a Dom/sub relationship, so my words should probably be taken with a grain of salt. But I do wonder if by focusing most of your energy on the Dom/sub experience, that other experiences that our very souls crave don’t get the attention they need.

    When I read of your different needs, and how you have partners who fill a specific need, I wonder if you struggle emotionally. If only we could all find that partner that fulfills all our needs. One who one minute will become your dominant one, overloading your whole body with lust, but the next minute hold your hand and kiss your forehead gently as you walk under the moonlit sky, loving you deeply for who you are.

    Some say romance is dead, I say romance is a reason to live, and to live joyfully. Is there a better feeling than seeing that inner glow beam from your partners face when they are held in the warm arms of your romance?

    • You might be right. That’s why I wonder about ‘romance’ within this type of relationship. I definitely get something more than I ever have before after some time with my Mentor, but the glow fades after a few days and then I’m left to deal with my own doubts.

      In many ways it takes a lot of confidence to be willing to give yourself over to these experiences (BDSM, romance, honesty), and I wonder if I really have it in me?

      Maybe I wouldn’t be questioning things as much if I was submerged in another person steadily, instead of just being dunked once in a while!

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