And Now You’re Up To Date…


So I’ve been wandering off the grid for about a month, trying to find my inspiration again…  Okay, I haven’t found it.  But I need to stop moping and get on with the business of writing and exploring my own sexuality.  So this is what we haven’t talked about in the last few weeks:

  1. I’ve lost my faith in humanity and no longer believe in karma or good triumphing over evil.  Long story…but this girl I know who almost destroyed her family when she stole thousand of dollars from her parents and parents friends, when she refused to get prenatal help for her first child (who subsequently died), who falsely accused her father of sexually abusing her and her daughter, and who agreed with her soon to be ex-husband and refused to let her parents see their two grandchildren…is now being welcomed back into her extended family while her two sisters stand by dumbfounded that this is happening around them.
  2. My husband has been fairly stable for the last month, which makes me so happy, but also makes it incredibly difficult to pursue my more ‘clandestine’ activities.  Although having harmony at home is always nice, especially during the holidays which are usually so stressful, we’ll see what the new year brings.
  3. I haven’t masturbated in months and the last time I tried I couldn’t even bring myself to orgasm.  Very discouraging.
  4. A wonderful guy I met on FetLife who was occupying my thoughts, https://iammysecretself.wordpress.com/2010/11/05/feeling-stupid-again/, got in touch with me again after almost a month of silence.  Explanations were given and he asked if we could try again…which I was more than happy to do…but he’s incommunicado again.  What the hell?  I tried to get one last message to him this morning, but I think in order to preserve my dignity that will have to be it unless he gets in touch with me.  Such a shame though, I think we would have had a lot of fun together.
  5. My Dom/Mentor is nowhere to be found.  He was going through some really difficult stuff at home and said he was going to take some time so he could get everything settled and then concentrate on me.  He felt he was too distracted to give me what I needed (which was definitely true) and wanted to start fresh.  So far…nada…abandoned again.
  6. I am still ridiculously infatuated with my crush and am having very vivid dreams (which is the only action I’m getting lately!), which is just making things worse.  And the strange thing is, I normally only ever have nightmares (probably due to a childhood of watching scary stuff with my Dad!), but these are definitely not nightmares…
  7. I’m really behind in my classes, but, as soon as this last one is over I’m not taking anything again until the fall.  Which is good, because I’ll be able to concentrate on writing.

There, I think that’s it, now you’re up to date.

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