Where, O Where Has My Sex Drive Gone?

Over the last few months I’ve been struggling with a lack of sex drive. 

(I actually started this post about a week ago, but didn’t finish it.  I felt that I really needed to think about my situation to see if I could come up with a plan of sorts!)

It’s been affecting a lot more areas in my life than I would have thought possible.  It’s making me depressed, lazy and uninspired to write.  I haven’t been able to make any headway on my school work and I sleep all the time.  And if I ever even get the urge to masturbate, I can’t seem to bring myself to orgasm.  Even a good dirty book doesn’t really do anything for me right now…the shame of it!

When I think back to how I was feeling just a few months ago, the change in me is very noticeable.  I was full of energy, well sexual energy, and I had ideas and stories falling from my fingertips.  I was inspired and focused at work and home, even though my body and mind was in a constant state of longing.

So…what happened to me?

Well, I think I’ve broken it down to three possible culprits.

No One To Focus On: I seem to thrive when I have something…or in this case, someone…to focus my energies on.  Less than six months ago, my crush was in overdrive, I’d had sex for the first time in probably five years and I was involved in a very explicit online ‘relationship’.  Now, there is nothing.  Yes, I still have my crush, but I’m trying really hard to ignore it (I know it’s never going to be anything more that a one-sided thing).  But other than that, I really have no one to focus my energies on.  I think the weight of all that unsatisfied lust became too much for me to bear, and I just sort of imploded into myself.

The Pill: I recently had to go back on the pill to try and clear up some medical issues I was having.  I was hesitant since I didn’t want to lose my new found sexual appetite, but my doctor assured my that this was a very low dose pill that wouldn’t interfere with my sex drive.  Maybe she was lying…?  Maybe I should flush them down the toilet…

Good ‘Ole Stress: I’m stressed right now.  Well, extra stressed.  There is lots of family stuff going on (not with my husband, but parents, sister, extended family, etc.).  Does stress really have that much of an effect on your sex drive?  Since I’ve lived so long in a sexless marriage, I’ve never really thought about it much.  But maybe what they say in the magazines is really true?

So…suggestions, anyone?


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