Posts Tagged ‘BDSM’

Belong To Me


Belong To Me by Shayla Black“Baby loves me
Yes, yes she does
Ah, the girl’s outta sight, yeah
Says she loves me
Yes, yes she does
Gonna show me tonight, yeah

She got the way to move me, Cherry
She got the way to groove me
She got the way to move me
She got the way to groove me…” … continue reading this entry.

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Surrender To Me


Shayla Black’s latest novel, Surrender To Me, is about a menage a trois fantasy that goes off course.  A Navy SEAL accepts a hot proposition: share a buddy’s girlfriend and fulfill her dream of a menage.  But after meeting her, he needs more than one night.  And he wants her all to himself… … continue reading this entry.

Checklists. Everyone Should Have Them…


My Mentor has been working with me on my BDSM Checklist. … continue reading this entry.

And Ode to FetLife…


A few weeks ago when I found myself grasping around for inspiration, I decided to take a tour of FetLife.com… continue reading this entry.

Research…?


I got in touch with an old friend of mine who is nice enough to help me with some research for a book/article I’m working on. He works in some of the clubs in the city and I need a tour of some of the underground establishments that cater to fetish and BDSM lifestyles. … continue reading this entry.

Dom/sub – Update


Um, okay, I may have misspoke when I said I wanted to explore the lifestyle…oh, by the way, if you haven’t read it, here is the link to my first post on the subject: https://iammysecretself.wordpress.com/2010/03/18/domsub/

I did a little exploring online the past few days and I may have overestimated my tolerance for strange people.  Not that they all were, but…I mean, come on, being dominant doesn’t just mean you can be a super angry guy and expect that to work for you.  The sites I looked at came off as…I don’t know…creepy, scary…and not exactly sexy.

Although I did learn what a munch was…

I’m going to have to think on this some more.

Dom/sub


I’ve discovered a new side to myself… I want a taste of BDSM culture…I find it fascinating…

I don’t know if it’s because I feel so out of control of my life lately and I’m yearning for someone to take charge of me or if it’s just simple sexual frustration, but I’ve been reading everything I can get my hands about this side of sexuality.

From Wicked Ties

‘Have you ever wanted to put yourself in the hands of a man whose sole purpose is to give you pleasure?…Do you want a man to see inside you, all the way to your fantasies, the darkest ones, and make everyone of the come true?  A dominant’s most important goal is to earn his partner’s trust.  Without that how can a woman freely put herself in a man’s care and know that her well-being and safety will always be first?  How can she know her master will understand her so he can make her every wicked fantasy come true?  Trust allows a women to connect with the primitive part of her that craves utter surrender of being at her master’s mercy, despite not knowing if his plans for her involve pleasure, pain or both.  A woman chooses to give her master dominion over her body and her mind.  She surrenders her flesh and free will to do anything and everything he desires.’

Mmmm, doesn’t this sound too good to be true…I imagine (too often, it’s becoming a daily distraction!) being dominated, but how would I know if it would stay in the bedroom?  I don’t want to be perceived as weak, not just with a lover, but in my public life either.  So where is the line?   How do you choose someone who would willing give themselves to your fantasy, someone who you could trust with this secret side of yourself?  What if I grew bored or frustrated and wanted something else?  Are these positions interchangeable, could a Dominant male ever truly play a submissive to my needs?

I have someone in my life who I think would be good at being a Dom.  He seems to be able to hold himself…separate?, apart?, aloof?… I don’t think those are quite the right words…from a situation.  I think he would be good at giving discipline, but wouldn’t hold back when it came to pleasure.

Not that it matters, he’s off limits to me…

So how would I find a partner for these decadent fantasies?  Yeah, don’t roll your eyes and say ‘duh, the Internet’.  It can’t be that simple…can it?