Posts Tagged ‘iammysecretself’


stag·nant  –adjective

1.  not flowing or running
2.  stale or foul from standing
3.  characterized by lack of development, advancement, or progressive movement

Yup, that’s me lately.  The question is, what do I do about it? … continue reading this entry.

Photo Shoot

The other day I realized that ‘my secret self’ collection of photographs on this blog are about a year old, old enough to  need updating. … continue reading this entry.

Happy Hallowe’en

Fall is by far my favourite time of the year and Hallowe’en is one of the main reasons.  … continue reading this entry.

Emerging Exhibitionist

Oh my, this naughty little side of myself is leaking out all over the place… … continue reading this entry.

Still Processing…

Have you ever been with someone who forced you to let your barriers down? … continue reading this entry.

Alter Ego…

I love that no one truly knows my secret self.  At work everyone sees me as Library Girl (dun da da daaahhh!, careful of my cape!), Defender of Books and Bringer of Knowledge.  But everyone should have some secrets, right? … continue reading this entry.

Dressing Up

Okay boys (or girls, if that’s your pleasure…), I’d like to present to you, dum da da dahhhh…the  case for lingerie.

In my experience guys like to look at lingerie, but then they want it off as quick as possible so they can get down to business.  Tsk, tsk, guys.  Lingerie is your friend!

If she’s pulled something out of her ‘secret drawer’, … continue reading this entry.

Guilty Pleasures

I was feeling a little sorry for myself today, so I decided to combine work and play.

The Mr. Clark’s Assistant series is going to incorporate a lot of experimenting, for both of them.  I figured the best way to write about it, is to learn about it first hand…so I did a little searching and bought myself a few treats. … continue reading this entry.

High School

I saw this postcard on Post Secret last week…I laughed so hard, it could have been my secret.

It’s almost 20 years later and everyday I still regret saving myself for only ever enjoying one partner and saving myself for my husband. … continue reading this entry.


I’ve discovered a new side to myself… I want a taste of BDSM culture…I find it fascinating…

I don’t know if it’s because I feel so out of control of my life lately and I’m yearning for someone to take charge of me or if it’s just simple sexual frustration, but I’ve been reading everything I can get my hands about this side of sexuality.

From Wicked Ties

‘Have you ever wanted to put yourself in the hands of a man whose sole purpose is to give you pleasure?…Do you want a man to see inside you, all the way to your fantasies, the darkest ones, and make everyone of the come true?  A dominant’s most important goal is to earn his partner’s trust.  Without that how can a woman freely put herself in a man’s care and know that her well-being and safety will always be first?  How can she know her master will understand her so he can make her every wicked fantasy come true?  Trust allows a women to connect with the primitive part of her that craves utter surrender of being at her master’s mercy, despite not knowing if his plans for her involve pleasure, pain or both.  A woman chooses to give her master dominion over her body and her mind.  She surrenders her flesh and free will to do anything and everything he desires.’

Mmmm, doesn’t this sound too good to be true…I imagine (too often, it’s becoming a daily distraction!) being dominated, but how would I know if it would stay in the bedroom?  I don’t want to be perceived as weak, not just with a lover, but in my public life either.  So where is the line?   How do you choose someone who would willing give themselves to your fantasy, someone who you could trust with this secret side of yourself?  What if I grew bored or frustrated and wanted something else?  Are these positions interchangeable, could a Dominant male ever truly play a submissive to my needs?

I have someone in my life who I think would be good at being a Dom.  He seems to be able to hold himself…separate?, apart?, aloof?… I don’t think those are quite the right words…from a situation.  I think he would be good at giving discipline, but wouldn’t hold back when it came to pleasure.

Not that it matters, he’s off limits to me…

So how would I find a partner for these decadent fantasies?  Yeah, don’t roll your eyes and say ‘duh, the Internet’.  It can’t be that simple…can it?

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